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Friday, January 14, 2005
I've had very limited experience with fasting. You know, giving up something of significance in order to focus on God? Usually, it's giving up food for a day or lunch for a week, or the radio in your car...things that, whenever you had the urge to do those things, it would trigger your thoughts toward God.
There was a time in high school when I first tried it at the request of my Bible study leader. The thing was we all showed up for Bible study one night and he taught on it, and then we all agreed to fast two days later. I'm not sure I got the full benefit of the fast, largely in part because I couldn't think of some big decision or some deep dark sin I was supposed to get God's help on. I was very young in my faith at the time.
I tried it again later in college...again, I'm not sure what I was after.
I even tried teaching on it in my first year of teaching Bible studies to my guys. Hey, it was in Matthew and we were studying Matthew, so we were going to do it. I don't think I did a very good job of teaching on the subject because my guys kept calling me from the pay phone at their school asking questions like, "I'm starting to get a little lightheaded. Are crackers cheating?" The task seemed like and end to them, not a means, since they went to Subway at 4:30PM after school in order to wait the half an hour to break the fast since they were "starving."
Then...
...I had mouths to feed. I had a wife. I had two children. We were young in youth ministry and that "poverty" thing that seemed like a really cool trend (my wife and I were both from suburban upbringings) appeared to be a lifestyle. Paychecks were being missed. The ministry was growing by leaps and bounds, but the "business" end of it was struggling very much. Hours were increased. Searches for other jobs were coming up empty. After 6.5 years of ministry, I was losing jobs to young guys right out of seminary with no experience. I decided to seek God's will by a concentrated focus on what He would have for me.
I chose to fast my lunches every day until I felt a firm leading from God on whether or not I should stay put or should I attend seminary. Seminary felt like such a sell-out, too. Leave this great ministry to a bunch of kids to go and study for a couple of years? But, hey, if you're gonna starve, may as well be because you're a student and students are supposed to starve, right?
And I took it seriously, too (Matthew 6: 16--18, from The Message):
"When you practice some appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God, don't make a production out of it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity but it won't make you a saint. If you 'go into training' inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face. God doesn't require attention-getting devices. He won't overlook what you are doing; He'll reward you well."
So, I practiced the appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God. It went on for close to two weeks...no lunches. I won't go into all the details, but I did make it a very private affair. And, at the end, I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed to go back to school, and even convinced about which particular school, too.
The plan looked very strange to everyone else around us, too. "Why would you walk away from a ministry that so many teens are growing in Christ? Why would you leave now after just getting a promotion to Executive Director? Why would you leave an organization that has such a penchant for developing incredible leaders for the Kingdom, starting with Billy Graham and moving forward? Why would you go to the most expensive of all the seminaries when you could do that work closer to home, and for lots cheaper?
But I was convinced.
We sold a home and moved 6 weeks after we made the decision. It was evident that God's hand was in it from selling a home only 6 hours on the market in a neighborhood where homes had been on the market for months to His provision for a company to move us to getting a job in youth ministry after only 4 weeks in the Dallas area the helped pay for seminary. It was the right move, in retrospect.
I fasted again about leaving the great student ministry we started at that church we got the job in 4 weeks after moving here. It had grown, it was exciting. Teens were growing, and the fruit from that ministry has proven long-lasting and very Kingdom-driven...which I could see at the time the Lord working in so many hearts and minds. So, why would we leave?
I wound up here at Crossroads. I was so sure it was where God wanted us after my fasting that I resigned my other job before I had anything firm, and on paper, from CBC. It was a very peaceful move, and I've been very content here.
So, I profess that I'm not much of an expert on fasting. I'm not even sure that to undertake that disicpline is something I should do daily, monthly, weekly, yearly or whatever. I mean, I really only employ it at those times when I need to make some large decision.
I'm not sure I can teach on it effectively.
What I will say is that it's clear from Scripture we're supposed to do it.
And we're supposed to make no production out of it when we do it.
But it has a place in the life of the believer. What place will it take in your life?
Brent 4:40 AM
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