|
|
Friday, July 01, 2005
I had never been that angry in one moment before.
I don't think I've ever been that mad in one moment since.
I'm not very interested in giving you all the details of my sin. Suffice to say that my emotions had been hurt deeply by my high school girlfriend, and a three-month process of breaking-up my first semester at university had all come to a head in one night. I was in the right. Really. An injustice had been done to me. She would've...and still would, I think...tell you the same thing.
But it didn't change things. The relationship was unquestionably over.
Technically, I broke up with her. Realistically, she'd made other choices long before that. The bottom line was still the same: It was over, and I was livid about it.
On that night, I walked back to my fraternity house which was about a mile from where the break-up took place. I guess over that 15 minutes or so I'd worked myself into a pretty good lather...didn't control my thoughts and those thoughts affected my emotions. My friends hadn't really seen me like that...in many ways I was pretty laid-back in those days...and I was shaking I was so upset. Silent, shaking, and in a rage. A real, live rage.
When I walked into the house, my best friends picked up what was going on and I told them the story. They offered all sorts of advice, too, to try to calm me down.
They offered alchohol. Just to take the edge off.
They offered drugs. Just to mellow out.
They offered ideas involving "using" some other girl. Just to vent my anger.
They offered to go to a movie. Just to get my mind off it.
They offered to go bowling. Just to take out some frustrations.
They offered to leave me alone. Just so I could collect my thoughts.
They tried.
They gave me the best they knew how to give me.
They really were good friends, and they cared about me and my life.
They were simply misguided.
Especially when you look at Psalm 19: 7--10, "The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether. They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb."
See, look at all the things words of God are, and the result of that:
It's perfect. It's complete. The result is that our very souls can be restored. That means fixed when it's broken.
It's sure. It's clear...understandable. It makes "simple" people wise.
The precepts are "right." The "rules" show us the way to go...instead of the "wrong" way. This makes our "heart rejoice." They make us happy ultimately...showing us true joy.
They are pure. Unspoiled by anything. They help us to see things as they really are.
They are clean...they don't have any "dirt" in them...and they are timeless. Lasting forever. They'll never go away. Ever.
They are true. Accurate. Never off, like this clock I have that re-sets itself every night with the offical clocks of the United States by honing in on some radar tower in Colorado.
They are more desirable than gold.
At least, I wish they were. Sometimes, I don't really desire reading them.
But back to my point. My friends simply didn't have that kind of reasoning in their radar. They fell back on what had given them some relief in the past. They went with their experiences rather than the timeless truths of the universe. They simply didn't know them or how to get them.
I know you're saying I should've had some different friends. Friends that would've encouraged me. I had Bible study friends, and I called our leader that night...and he knew enough to point me to the Word and prayer.
Which is what I did.
I wish I could say that it "cured" me instantly and I was at peace, going the right way, that my heart was rejoicing, and all that jazz.
But it wasn't true. Those things did develop over time, though. No where in that list does it say that the words and ways of the Lord make for instant-fixes.
But the words and ways of the Lord are, in the words of The Message, "better than a diamond...better than a diamond set between emeralds." Even if it takes time. The "rewards" are well worth it.
So, for today, can you think of a time when you began to lean on Him and His Word? What long-term perspective can you tell us about that gives support for all these things the psalm tells us are true?
Brent 5:02 AM
|