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Monday, October 10, 2005
Remember
I still remember it like it was yesterday.
It was nearly 26 years ago.
It was the day I made a deal with God.
The days before had been a blur. My dad's undexpected death. The family at the house constantly. The food. The friends saying all the wrong things. The reality that there really aren't any right things to say. The planning of the funeral. The buying of a suit I now needed, even though in my life to that point I'd never had need of a suit.
The graveside service was the clincher.
See, the funeral was one of those deals where there was a ceremony at the church first. I'm not sure I remember one single thing about that. I was sitting between my mom and Uncle Jimmy and their deep grief, expressed through tears, overwhelmed anything anybody else in that room said or did from my perspective. I'm not sure you're capapble of linear thought when you're 13 and at a funeral for your dad, anyway.
After that we got in a funeral procession and rode to the graveside. There was more talking. My mom threw some dirt on top of the casket. I'm not sure you're capable of linear thought when you're 13 and at a graveside service for your dady, anyway.
But then the officiant came down the row where my family was sitting after the service was over and said some words of comfort to each one of us. He actually said to me that God had a plan for my dad and that plan involved my dad in heaven. Then he said, "Congratulations."
Right then and there I made a deal with God: You stay on your side of the universe, I'll stay on mine and we'll have a peaceful co-existence. I won't go to church or hang out with Christians anymore and you won't have to deal with me, either. One less thing for both of us. See, if God's plan involved needing my dad in heaven, then I didn't like the plan or want to be a part of it. So, keep Your plans to Yourself.
I never doubted that God existed. I really never went through a phase of bad theology about God or doubting that He loved me. I just didn't like His plan. I certainly didn't like being congratulated for being in that plan, either. So the best thing was a separation, not a divorce.
Well, God has a long history of letting the prodigals go their own way for a while. The parable of the prodigal son is pretty much where we get that phrase from...not to mention Jonah, John the Baptist and a host of other prophets, both minor and major.
Then He shows Himself faithful and loving and gracious and merciful and all that jazz.
Which is why I find it interesting from Psalm 132:
"Remember, O Lord, on David's behalf,
All his affliction;
How he swore to the Lord,
And vowed to the Mighty One of Jacob,
Surely I will not enter my house,
Nor lie on my bed;
I will not give sleep to my eyes,
Or slumber to my eyelids;
Until I find a place for the Lord,
A dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob."
I'm intrigued by how this Psalm starts.
One word:
"Remember."
And what are we supposed to "remember?"
Affliction. Particularly David's affliction. We'll talk more about this affliction tomorrow.
But what good does it do to remember an affliction?
Think for a second.
I remember the affliction I had when I was younger. My deal with God. I remember it vividly even though it was almost 26 years ago.
And it's gone now. A stupid "deal" made by a stupid kid.
God responded, as usual, with faithfulness, lovingkindness, graciousness and abounding mercy...
...and that encourages me in my right here, right now.
So, for today, what do you need encouragement with right now? Can you think of a time when God showed Himself faithful to you in another situation? How does that help you with the situation you're in right now?
Brent 5:22 AM
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