Peripatetics: The Art of Walking
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Confession Time
I was all prepared to teach my Sunday School lesson on "love" last week. As most of you know, our class is on a fall series taking a look at the fruit of the Spirit in great detail. I'm very excited about it, actually.
I'm also preparing for a class with my senior guys on the "minor" prophets. This particular week we were studying Amos, and I read over the lesson on Sunday...and the part I focused on was how much God hates (the Bible actually used the word "hate") our worship when it isn't done with a genuine heart. Amos, speaking for God Himself, was really bent out of shape about it, too.
So, as the Sunday School class was convening we kicked things off with a bit of worship. In this case, some singing.
Our worship leader started up and the first few rows of kids were involved, but there was a lot of milling about still. I figured kids were coming in from the parking lot and it might take a few minutes to settle down. No biggie.
Next song starts. I'm beginning to notice some freshman girls to my right in full-blown conversation...not looking for a seat or trying to find a friend, but having a conversation going on about school. They definitely didn't realize how loud they were being. Or how rude. Not really a biggie...yet.
Third song starts. In between the songs, I could hear some younger guys discussing the Texas-Ohio State football game that had been on the night before. They didn't stop when the song started, either. Keep in mind they were completely across the room from each other. They definitely didn't realize how loud they were being. Or how rude. Slowly becoming a biggie.
Fourth song starts. No change in attitude or behavior. It is a full-blown biggie. Every fiber of my being wanted to strangle some teenagers. I was as livid as I've been in a long time. If I'd followed through with what I really wanted to do to them at that moment there'd probably be an awful lot of paperwork filed and I'd probably be doing hard time. I've got a wide-open conviction about the heart of worship going from my afternoon study of Amos and now I've got people in direct violation of what I'm about to talk about.
Worship ends.
I'm still livid...
I decide to go with a little bit of a lecture at the beginning. Wrong move, in retrospect, but I really felt like I should say SOMETHING, for crying out loud...we had some visitors! Evacuees from the hurricane, too!
So, I give the little lecture. It was actually well-recieved all things considered.
We go on with the study. During the opening prayer time I told God I wanted to teach them what he'd taught me about love.
And I got to 1 Corinthians 13: 5, "(love does) not act unbecomingly; it does not seek it's own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered."
Does not act unbecomingly? Lemme see...so, is giving an anger-fueled, guilt-inspiring lecture what one might call unbecoming?
Does not seek it's own? Lemme see...so is being bent out of shape about what I wanted to see (a room full of teenagers heartfully worshipping God) and certainly not wanting to be embarrassed in front of some visitors seeking my own?
Is not provoked? Is letting some younger teens, most of whom are just beginning to walk with God and it's all very elementary to them, get under my doing-this-for-17-years skin being provoked.
Does not take into account a wrong suffered? All of a sudden this was about "my" kids misunderstanding what we're about in "my" ministry during the preparation time for "my" lesson...does thinking this is all about "me" and how they wrecked it constitute a "wrong suffered."
And there I stood.
Full-blown conviction while teaching verse 5.
Teaching on love.
Not loving.
Clanging cymbal. Noise noise NOISE NOISE! I tried to repent right then and there. I surely was convicted and prayed right while I was teaching. Teaching on love when you aren't being loving. Sheesh.
So, for today, pray for me and my heart. Sometimes the lessons I teach are really God just teaching me while on my walk with Him.
Brent 3:46 AM
Comments:
Brent - You gotta love it when He teaches so demonstrably, right. I have loved the last several posts on here. But today may just be the best, knowing the Pastors get that rap on the head too. Priceless. But, in consolation, I was talking to one of the young evacuees on Monday and his take on your ministry was that it was great.
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