Peripatetics: The Art of Walking
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I Know You're All Taking Finals And All...
...but I thought a quote from a book I'm reading called "With or Without You" by Cameron Conant might be a nice study break. It's about his view of Christians after his divorce and trying to find a church home:
"Because I'm tired of everyone acting like they have it all together, tired of illusions that we have perfect lives, perfect families. I'm also tired of myself, tired of my reticence to open up and bare my soul, tired of avoiding people, tired of my unwillingness to get involved in the ministry of the church.
I'm tired of the notion that I'm screwed up...'But don't worry, we have a support group for people like you!' But, by its very name, the Church of Losers says: Come here if you're a loser--we're all losers!
Everyone at my church is a mess--I'm a mess--so why can't we admit it? Why do we spend so much time trying to convince each other we're not?"
Good questions, Mr. Conant. Good questions.
Any answers, folks?
Brent 5:01 AM
Comments:
Sure, you should. It's an open forum, Ian! And, I bet you'd really enjoy the book...Nathan has it on his bookshelf for loan.
Thanks, guys. Dibs on that book, too.
In the end, it all comes back to one of our must basic human fears: fear of rejection by others, and fear of rejection by God. Because we're human, and inherently flawed and broken, one of our greatest fears is abandonment by those we care about because at our core we know the depths of our own sin nature, and we *know* that if they only knew how bad we really were inside they'd run away screaming.
What the church in general has done (in my opinion) is they've focused so much on glorifying the wonderful realities and successes that a life spent pursuing a personal relationship with God can bring they've repeatedly neglected to address the very important fact that the very reason we al need God in the first place is that we're *ALL* broken to begin with.
And being broken is OK.
I think that there's an unspoken undercurrent in the church in general that implies that if we have real, serious problems it must be because somebody's spiritual walk isn't good enough, or close enough, or sincere enough. Regardless of whether or not it's true - and sometimes it *is* - it's difficult to admit that either you, your spouse, or somebody you love isn't taking their walk with Christ seriously.
Secondly, I think that people (in general) are afraid that these problems may be rooted in their own doubts about God, and that can be difficult to openly admit in to others in the church in general, especially if you've been taught from a young age either that doubt is unacceptable or a sign that your faith wasn't strong enough. It forces them to admit that serious, life-altering problems can cause reasonable, honest, God-seeking people to doubt everything they've ever believed, and it's difficult to admit that your faith has either been shaken to it's core in a culture that lauds those who have it all together, at least on the outside.
After all, if you've done everything right by what the church has taught you (to the best of your ability), and it still all falls apart, might you wonder if everything you've always believed about God is true, or if God exists at all?
Most church-goin' folks don't want to confess that one. I know I never did.
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In the end, it all comes back to one of our must basic human fears: fear of rejection by others, and fear of rejection by God. Because we're human, and inherently flawed and broken, one of our greatest fears is abandonment by those we care about because at our core we know the depths of our own sin nature, and we *know* that if they only knew how bad we really were inside they'd run away screaming.
What the church in general has done (in my opinion) is they've focused so much on glorifying the wonderful realities and successes that a life spent pursuing a personal relationship with God can bring they've repeatedly neglected to address the very important fact that the very reason we al need God in the first place is that we're *ALL* broken to begin with.
And being broken is OK.
I think that there's an unspoken undercurrent in the church in general that implies that if we have real, serious problems it must be because somebody's spiritual walk isn't good enough, or close enough, or sincere enough. Regardless of whether or not it's true - and sometimes it *is* - it's difficult to admit that either you, your spouse, or somebody you love isn't taking their walk with Christ seriously.
Secondly, I think that people (in general) are afraid that these problems may be rooted in their own doubts about God, and that can be difficult to openly admit in to others in the church in general, especially if you've been taught from a young age either that doubt is unacceptable or a sign that your faith wasn't strong enough. It forces them to admit that serious, life-altering problems can cause reasonable, honest, God-seeking people to doubt everything they've ever believed, and it's difficult to admit that your faith has either been shaken to it's core in a culture that lauds those who have it all together, at least on the outside.
After all, if you've done everything right by what the church has taught you (to the best of your ability), and it still all falls apart, might you wonder if everything you've always believed about God is true, or if God exists at all?
Most church-goin' folks don't want to confess that one. I know I never did.